I don’t mean to just abandon the blog. But life’s been busy. I am going to ATL next week to visit mom, then San Diego the week after to attempt a surf & ski adventure. Work is a donkey job and I’m not being a good donkey. Been dating a bit. I think I may start watching The Voice this season. I hope all of you are doing great. I love you!

Lucky in Vegas

Vegas was fun. I think I paid for the food and entertainment with my winnings. I didn’t gamble a whole lot but my returns were huge.

I was staying at the Mirage, and let me tell you, I did not have a good experience at this hotel. The concierge service sucked, my room was not clean, and my upgraded room’s key stopped working midway through the stay.

So I spent most of my money at the Venetian and regretted not staying there. I love the Venetian. It’s my lucky casino and I won a lot of money here. I also spent it here.

Vegas marathon was on Sunday and we cheered the runners on a bit. There were spectacular holiday themed, free shows outside the Venetian all weekend long.

I went to see George Wallace and it was not very funny. Chris Tucker came midway through the show and saved it a bit. As much as I enjoy standup, it was not a fun time.

I guess I had the most fun on the casino floor, playing blackjack. Also placed some football bets but came out even.

One thing I can say for sure is that the food was excellent. The buffet at the Mirage was excellent. The only place that disappointed Johnny Rockets at the Mirage.

It was definitely my lucky weekend because it was Rodeo week in Vegas, and I do enjoy country music. They had free country music concerts at the Mirage. Beautiful country girls and men in cowboy hats were all over the floor. And Tiger Woods won this weekend. So yeah, I think it was lucky for me.

I was not really taking pictures but here is one of the view from my room:

The right answer

When life makes no sense and days seem long. When everyday mundane tasks become too much to bear. When everything else fails. There is only one solution:









Las Vegas Baby!

What if all these fantasies come flailing aground

Seems like work problems are catching on like a plague.

I have had a terrible summer and fall thus far. In that nothing was exciting. Everything was dull. Life was dull. Sort of a slumber. Kind of a depression. I didn’t meet anyone new the entire summer. I kept to myself. I ran, read great books that created a life of their own in my head, and these two activities were my only interests.

I think I am at a threshold, a fork in the road. Money is not an issue and I have saved up for a bad time, but work is not working out for me.

I couldn’t really define happiness until one day I saw JFK define it in a speech: The ancient Greek definition of happiness was the full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

I am not employing the full use of my powers for anything remotely excellent.

Sure, the economy is in the gutter, but must I define my life around the GDP and macroeconomic factors?

I listened to Steve Jobs’ commencement speech he gave at Stanford, where he tells the students to go after their dreams. But for every one guy successful doing that, there were 99 who didn’t succeed. Of course, we never hear about them. We only hear about the one success story.

Most of all, I am afraid of not feeling anything. I don’t feel happy or sad, up or down. I don’t cry, nor do I laugh too much. The biggest emotion I feel is a drive to succeed, or maybe to struggle.

And so I feel as if I am now jeopardizing my career because I don’t have the struggle. Life is too easy, and I don’t have to use my mind much. Happiness level is low because I am not pursuing anything meaningful. Subconsciously then I am finding a battle, a war, a struggle.

I am a bit nervous and scared, because I think I could damage myself in the process. I may not be able to get back to this income level in the near future, I may just become a statistic, just a sad story, an afterthought, a footnote. I am scared of that.

I know that I am lost, and I don’t know which way to go. I have not a clue. I am in possession of myself, I am healthy and clean, I am energetic and strong. But I am lost.

Stop watching E!

I fucking hate Kim Kardashian and what she stands for. I never saw the show except for an episode or two when I was dating someone who was into it last year. It just seemed like a show about people way into themselves, exhibiting really bad relationship and dating behavior, just for the sake of ratings.

I am afraid that too many women these days are modeling their relationships and dating lives on these reality shows, including the Bachelorette series. I am sorry but I think that nowadays more women are responsible for failed relationships than men are.

You can’t just walk out the door without trying to make it work. You can’t put your career ahead of your relationship either; neither can a man, for that matter.

And I think some old fashioned values help make a relationship work – like cooking at home once in a while (men should help), having good manners, valuing human interactions.

I love strong, independent women and am attracted to them, but you can’t be strong and independent in a relationship to its detriment. You have to stay in touch with your feminine, nurturing, comforting side. There cant be two men in a relationship (not talking gay couples here).

Memory of an uneasy date

I had a race Saturday – another 5K. I thought I’d wake up in time so didn’t set the alarm. When I woke up it was 8 and my race was at 9. I am one of those guys who have to go to the bathroom in the morning before they can do anything. So it was a bit of a crunch – pun intended.

Anyway, I had a banana and made it to the race on time. I warmed up a bit. Many had already lined up at the Start line and so I found myself in the middle of the pack, which I hated.

Then I looked up and in front of me stood a girl who looked familiar.

And then I realized I had gone out with her earlier this year. She didn’t see me (I think), and the race was about to start anyway. And off we went.

So she and I had met for drinks and although she was very serious, we kind of liked each other. But she was going to China for 2 weeks. She is an architect. So when I asked her if she wanted to go out for dinner, she said she would like that but after she came back. I commented that we were in danger of running out of conversation, and she said she’d tell me all about China.

I am kind of an abnormal personality so I looked up a hole-in-the-wall Mexican joint for dinner that was supposed to be really good. Only trouble was it had no ventilation. Seriously. It was BYOB and I brought wine, which she really appreciated.

Once we settled and started talking, it was good conversation but very serious. I tried to break the ice several times but she was all walled up. The smoke was obviously bothering her although the food was authentic.

And when we were done, she said she would buy me a drink. Not like I was expecting anything in return, really. So we went in search of a bar. And we couldn’t find one for the lives of us. She seemed to have got in a bad mood by then.

We found a Mexican bar with Mexican music – really bad music which was also very loud. It was just us at the bar. The bartender had a cowboy hat and a huge mustache on. Beyond the bar area, there was a dance floor and then an open area where families sat and occasionally looked at us.

Its not easy to perturb me over such trivial stuff but she seemed like she was ready to call it a night. So after one drink we went back to our cars.

She was distant and aloof. So I said goodnight and went home. I never called back. She did not seem like the kind of girl who could improvise, adapt.

So on Saturday after the race, I started wondering what went wrong. It occurred to me that she had lost her dad in 2010 and maybe she was all serious because of it.

I did check my time and hers - I finished in 25 minutes and she did in 36.

We ran up the steps

The Bisbee 1000…..well it was some experience.

The small town of Bisbee is located about 85 miles southeast of Tucson. The temps were in the 90s. I just read on Wiki that “Bisbee is noted for its gay-friendliness, and its Gay Pride Days is considered one of the top 5 rural Gay Prides in the United States by the online site at gay.com.

Uh-oh, now my coworkers must really think I’m gay.

Anyhoo, it was a tough race because of the altitude and the temperature. There were nine sets of steps and each of them was very steep. I was able to finish under an hour.

Afterwards, there was an art show and a local food festival.

On Sunday I hit the golf links.

Today my legs hurt despite the fact that I run 3/4 times a week.

One of the sets of steps:



Limited vacancy and I had to sleep in a hostel with bunk beds:


Never ending stairs:


Live local musicians along the path: